There is no happy ending,
for a broken heart.
Emotional heads start spinning,
you can tell no one apart.

Broken mirrors greet crooked smiles,
chanting escapes the corners of the mind.
Confusion can travel for endless miles,
eyes closing while the rivers run dry.

Delusion teases ever so slightly,
welcomed by the ever tensing pain.
Love should not be taken lightly,
life depends on the game.

Stop the rising madness now,
ease the preoccupied thoughts soon.
You know what to say, but how,
do you end your love for you?

Blend crazed lies through shaken lips,
break the rules of the game.
Watch your master take a sip,
hear mankind scream your name.

Walk from the wasteland of the lost,
kick the rubble from your path.
You have to escape at all costs,
or feel the game's awful wrath.

Run in the maze of little white lies,
you fall and cry in pitiful shame,
Look up, you made it through the night,
but it's too late. End game.

Comments & reviews · 4
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User avatar
dogs
Review
dogs wrote a review · Thu Jul 16, 2009 2:41 pm

hey hey hey. dogs here

apart from the grammar errors i loved reading this poem. the ending was my favorite part!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really got the meaning in this poem. i loved the second to last stanza when you say "walk from the wasteland of lost, kick the rubble from your path, you must escape at all costs, or feel the games awful wrath." this line has soooooooooo much meaning in it. i love the first line of that stanza.

The only thing that i don't get is in the fifth stanza when you say "watch your master take a sip" that is really random and dosn't make any sence to me. and i can't find any grammar errors that havn't already been adressed.

soooooooooo i highly suggest that you keep on writing and keep up the good work. =D best of luck

User avatar
sweetie_pie94
Comment

Hiya!



I'm gonna help you here. I see one problem and I have one suggestion. One thing I know about poems is that your supposed to capitalize at the beginning of each line. look over this section to see some of that kind of errors.



There is no happy ending,

[f]or a broken heart.

Emotional heads start spinning,

[y]ou can tell no one apart.



Here's the fixed way...



There is no happy ending,

[F]or a broken heart.

Emotional heads start spinning,

[Y]ou can tell no one apart.


That problem is all through the poem. So you can fix it or leave it.
My suggestion is to add big VOC. words.

Anyway, I love the poem. It's inspiring. It really is. Thank YOU for posting!:)

User avatar
sweetie_pie94
Review

Hiya!



I'm gonna help you here. I see one problem and I have one suggestion. One thing I know about poems is that your supposed to capitalize at the beginning of each line. look over this section to see some of that kind of errors.



There is no happy ending,

[f]or a broken heart.

Emotional heads start spinning,

[y]ou can tell no one apart.



Here's the fixed way...



There is no happy ending,

[F]or a broken heart.

Emotional heads start spinning,

[Y]ou can tell no one apart.


That problem is all through the poem. So you can fix it or leave it.
My suggestion is to add big VOC. words.

Anyway, I love the poem. It's inspiring. It really is. Thank YOU for posting!:)



Perhaps the real rickroll was the friends we made along the way
— GengarIsBestBoy